When I was in elementary school we used to get herded into the gym on occasion to be taught how to dance. It would typically be without any type of advanced warning (as anti-dance fever would strike us all on a predetermined dance day) and did not involve any type of dances recognizable from the previous half century. There was no “Lock & Pop,” “Moonwalking,” or even “Mr. Roboto.”

Mercifully, touching was completely minimized with your dance partner. There is nothing quite as awkward as being 10 years old and having to grip a member of the opposite sex for an hour while you learn to waltz.… More SMRTETA